Well, hit me with a 2x4

A recent presTTTigious panel concluded that law school tuition will continue to rise. The proposed solutions, which will surely mollify both Senator Boxer and Nando, are as follows:

1. Make education loans dischargeable in bankruptcy.
2. Base government loans on each institution's default rate.
3. Strip the ABA of accreditation authority.
4. Mandate minimum LSAT scores.
5. Allow professors to teach more classes.
6. Close all but the top-100 law schools.
7. Shared faculty appointments, facilities and technology.

From the article:

One example Haddon cites is students' work on a leadership journal published jointly by Santa Clara Law and the University of Maryland School of Law that culminated in the Leadership Education Roundtable at Santa Clara last weekend.

Seriously, this is the legal academy's answer to the mismatch between what it charges students and the opportunities it affords them. A fucking leadership roundtable organized by students who didn't have the chops for law review? Employers will be so impressed. The legal education industry is truly composed of visionaries whose only goal in life is to train the next generation of lawyers in the best manner possible.

This article could scarcely have been more daft if it were published April 1. We're talking about institutions that have a "fax machine for student use, at no charge if directly related to job searching." Will they share a fax machine? Or, will they just split rolls of fax paper?

Until the federal teat is turned off, every day will be April Fools.

GarBay

Entrepreneurs have unveiled a site, Shpoonkle, to mate brokeass clients with brokeass attorneys. Find a need and fill it.

Briefly, prospective clients pose their legal quandary and lawyers bid on resolving it. Bids can be hourly rate, contingency, flat fee, or pro bono. In short, a reverse-auction eBay for legal services, with both a Priceline name-your-price model and competition from Indian LPOs sure to follow. What could possibly go wrong?

There was an old motorcycle helmet ad that went, "If you have a $20 head, buy a $20 helmet." Thanks to Shpoonkle, should that $20 helmet fail you can go to court with (what's left of) your head held high to seek ju$tice against the manufacturer, all the while represented by the low bidder. Hell, even the People's Democratic Republic of New Jersey allows towns to go with the lowest responsible bidder. Seems you get what you pay for.

Soon-to-be-brokeass students are also welcome to register; Shpoonkle dont (sic) need no stinkin' resume. The ad below (click on it to enlarge) effectively tells you you're fucked, but it's undoubtedly a fake created by a bitter JDU loser. Feel free to ignore it. The site will aggressively defend you when the inevitable malpractice suit hits. I kill me.

Shpoonkle fits right in with a presTTTigious "profession" that daily plumbs new depths in compensation and dignity. Let me know when there are corresponding sites for doctors, dentists, auditors and other actual professions.