Monday, November 30, 2015

Valvoline Dean becomes RuTTTgers Athletic Director

Rutgers just shitcanned both its athletic director and its head football coach. Read all about it here.

The AD position vacant and the university's program in shambles, only one man could step in to save the day. That man: Patrick Hobbs, Dean Emeritus of Seton Haul Law Skool. Though Dean Hobbs needs no introduction, I've reproduced Scott Bullock's.

For those new to Big Debt, an explanation: Hobbs was long ago nicknamed the "Valvoline Dean" by none other than yours truly. Of course, all law school deans are shysters and born liars (see Rothenberg, Karen), but Hobbs has elevated pseudo-sincere "slicksterism" to a form of high art, an oleaginous tour de force of toilet law puffery. His persona is a cross between a used-car salesman and a Tammany Hall politician, with a touch of creepy Catholic-priest piety thrown in for good measure.

If Hobbs does for Rutgers what he did for Seton Haul, his legacy will live on forever.


  1. How does he accomplish these things? He must be a magician! Hobbs goes through life, from one presTTTigious posiTTTion to TTThe nexTTT!

    1. Its the buddy system. If you became the Chief legal officer of a corporation and you had a choice between two candidates: Your goombah roommate from law school who has thrown you work all of these years and was best man at your wedding and not experienced in that legal area or a highly credentialed, highly qualified applicant you knew nothing about who applied on line. You have five seconds to decide.

  2. Absolutely incredible. There is no justice in this world, and the sheeple are easily swayed by fast and loose law-talkin' people.

    Meanwhile, thousands of JDs struggle under shameful debt loads.

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