Tuesday, April 5, 2011

The "profession" that oozes presTTTige

Had a bunch of things I wanted to write about today, but let's start with the best and save the rest. A shout out to Shit Law Jobs.


Date: 2011-04-04, 4:24PM EDT
Reply to: job-dw9ft-2305235981@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


Associate attorney needed at boutique matrimonial firm across from Grand Central. Must have 2+ years matrimonial law experience during law school or after graduation. Excellent computer skills including Excel, Word and WordPerfect are an absolute necessity. All resumes must be accompanied by law school transcript. Top 15% of class only. Position will entail primarily secretarial and paralegal tasks with opportunity for increased responsibilities.

Compensation: Negotiable
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 2305235981
Yes, TLS denizens, this is a fake ad created by a bitter JDU loser. For everyone else, let me summarize.
  • Requires two years experience, though this can be while clerking.
  • Transcript to verify above, because you can't be too careful.
  • Presumably, NY bar admission.
  • Expertise with WordPerfect, software whose heyday was the DOS-era.
  • Despite the above requirements, the position is secretarial.
The sad thing is that the poster's mailbox will overflow with serious applicants. They don't actually care what your class rank is, but need a way to winnow the resumes they get.

They're probably not going to get many ex-biglaw types -- matrimonial is shitlaw territory -- but top-15% is a solid candidate for whom the world should be her oyster.

If you want to be a secretary this badly, then go to secretarial school. You get the same prestige without the six-figure debt and seven wasted years of your life. Thanks, ABA!

The only thing that would make this ad more special is if it were an unpaid internship. Next week.

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