Your JD may pay off after all

We recently received the attached from ADP. Click on the image to read it (requires a PDF viewer). Short story is the Labor Department has proposed increasing the minimum salary level for exempt employees to $50,440 in 2016. Sad to think this will encompass some lawyers. Some; most would likely be fired straight away and blackballed if they claimed OT.

Still no cure for this. Suite dreams.

JDU pwns ATL

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JDU wags collaborated on a fanciful Craigslist shitlaw job listing that one of the regulars then posted in the Chicago market. It soon found its way to both shitlawjobs and ATL. Unfortunately, she pulled it shortly afterward.

The sad thing is that a truly wretched law job description received real responses and didn't seem contrived enough to arouse suspicion at ATL.

The "profession" that oozes presTTTige

Had a bunch of things I wanted to write about today, but let's start with the best and save the rest. A shout out to Shit Law Jobs.

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/lgl/2305235981.html

ASSOCIATE ATTORNEY (Midtown East)

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Date: 2011-04-04, 4:24PM EDT
Reply to: job-dw9ft-2305235981@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

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Associate attorney needed at boutique matrimonial firm across from Grand Central. Must have 2+ years matrimonial law experience during law school or after graduation. Excellent computer skills including Excel, Word and WordPerfect are an absolute necessity. All resumes must be accompanied by law school transcript. Top 15% of class only. Position will entail primarily secretarial and paralegal tasks with opportunity for increased responsibilities.

Compensation: Negotiable
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 2305235981

Yes, TLS denizens, this is a fake ad created by a bitter JDU loser. For everyone else, let me summarize.

• Requires two years experience, though this can be while clerking.
• TOP FUCKING 15% OF THE CLASS. PERIOD.
• Transcript to verify above, because you can't be too careful.
• Presumably, NY bar admission.
• Expertise with WordPerfect, software whose heyday was the DOS-era.
• Despite the above requirements, the position is secretarial.

The sad thing is that the poster's mailbox will overflow with serious applicants. They don't actually care what your class rank is, but need a way to winnow the resumes they get.

They're probably not going to get many ex-biglaw types -- matrimonial is shitlaw territory -- but top-15% is a solid candidate for whom the world should be her oyster.

If you want to be a secretary this badly, then go to secretarial school. You get the same prestige without the six-figure debt and seven wasted years of your life. Thanks, ABA!

The only thing that would make this ad more special is if it were an unpaid internship. Next week.

Unpaid jobs becoming the new normal

http://management.fortune.cnn.com/2011/03/25/unpaid-jobs-the-new-normal

Employers now expect people to work for free, minimum wage laws be damned. Seems the number of people looking for work far exceeds demand and employers would rather take a chance with brokeass interns than pay a living wage. You can now go to school for seven years for the opportunity to work for nothing. Woot!

PresTTTigious shitlaw firms have jumped in feet first. In their case you may obtain the training and experience you should have gotten in school but didn't, avoid a résumé gap, and possibly get a reference. It's win-win, for the school and law firm, anyway.

The Labor Department is well aware of what is going on and auditing and fining companies. My prediction is that presTTTigious employers will begin CHARGING to work, probably by billing the hapless graduate for the trainer's time and also for overhead (desk, phone, office equipment, etc.). If you're lucky, a partner may even let you carry his presTTTigious briefcase for free when you accompany him to court.

P.S.: Legal "internships" on Craigslist are almost always illegal. Flag them as prohibited. Click on the following for samples.

http://www.shitlawjobs.com/search/label/unpaid_law_firm_internship

Sharp Dressed Man

They come running just as fast as they can, 'cause every firm's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man. This beauty's been making the rounds on JDU and Shit Law Jobs.

http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/lgl/2279487075.html

Lawyer (Philadlphia)

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Date: 2011-03-22, 10:13AM EDT
Reply to: job-qvdkk-2279487075@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

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What is Great About you ?Are you a maverick ? I am looking for an attorney to help my law practice the following areas of Law:
Legal Malpractice,
Bankruptcy,
Consumer Protection and
Real Estate Law.
Must be elegant and contribute to happiness. Must be a sharp dresser.
No casuals, please.

Location: Philadelphia
Compensation: $25,000 or more

Location: Philadlphia
This is a contract job.
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 2279487075